Kitchen Brush...

Sometimes you just have to let your daughter paint the window with your kitchen brush. The old me would've explained it isn't to be used that way. I would've asked her to put it back in the kitchen. Sometimes creative juices need to flow and ridiculous mothers who are too occupied with order need to enjoy the scene. Really, what good is a brush that has never painted the window?

Girl Talk...

Often when Paul is away at night, for one reason or another, the girls and I get our pillows arranged in the living room and watch a movie. Last night Paul went to the General Priesthood broadcast. We'd had a rough evening. Paul & I were really tired from all the birthday party business we've been attending to. Paul was in the mood for pizza. That boy never requests anything for himself. He gives the girls & I what ever we want. M really, really, REALLY wanted us to ride our bikes to Subway. Paul & I explained that we were tired and it was almost time for him to go to the meeting. M threw a fit, and cried, and was very mad. We talked about how we'd worked so hard to give her an awesome birthday party and she should be grateful & happy. After all, how often do we order pizza?!

Like always, we try to compromise, this is a very strong practice in Paul's family. Our bikes were down the road at Grandma's house. Paul drove us there so we could ride our bikes home while he picked up the pizza. M was not appeased in the slightest. At Grandma's house everyone asked her what was wrong and she just stormed around.

That was our rough night. So, I decided to try to end the day on a positive note. We piled our pillows in the livingroom and instead of escaping reality with a movie, we talked. We laid together and talked about the scripture story I've been studying lately - Alma & his people being delivered from Amulon & the Lamanites. We talked about their amazingly positive attitude even though it wasn't fair that the Lamanites found them and enslaved them. We talked about how we can have positive attitudes even when it's hard and unfair. I worked especially hard to listen to them. Our discussion was really good, as they often are. I told them I bought warm fuzzies. We'll put one in the jar every time someone has a good attitude when it's hard. When the jar is full we'll enjoy a reward.

Then I read Harry Potter to them for awhile. Over all, it was a very enjoyable, positive experience, at least for M & C. Little J was walking all over us while we laid on the floor and got very chatty & mischievous.

What I learned:
1. Talking can be better than movies, and children do listen, and I should listen.
2. My children know what's right in principal, I need to be patient as they practice.
3. Don't expect J to cooperate at a sleep over, she's only two after all.

Piano lessons...

I've always been of the opinion that my children would submit to music lessons. Music is like math, you need to learn it, love it, and use it. We have been blessed to be friends with a FABULOUS Suzuki instructor!

Can I say that piano lessons has been a lot like my experience as a mother. There is someone who is trying desperately to teach and enrich. Occasionally, these efforts are well received and everyone experiences joy. Unfortunately, most of the time there is complaining, resisting, whining, arguing, and therefore failure and frustration. My oldest daughter, M, has always hated learning things while being watched. She was self conscious very, very early. When we're practicing together she gets furious if I try, using a plethora of methods, to correct mistakes. This is one of our many struggles.

C has a pure yellow personality, like her mother. She lives like a honey bee fluttering from fun flower to fun flower. If it's not a fun flower we don't even go there! I was so old by the time I out grew this... seriously! Like, 22. My poor C! I worry she'll be the same way & life is very hard when you only linger on the fun flowers. My struggle with her is getting her to think piano is a fun flower.

Sometimes the trauma happens in the actual lesson, which is beyond humiliating for me. Sometimes C pouts if she doesn't get her way & will sit there, arms folded on the piano bench. A few weeks ago Mr. Dad took them to their lessons, well, they fought so much over who was going first (each volunteering the other) and such that he brought them straight home. Their punishment, an hour long imprisonment in their separate rooms.

We had an awesome rehearsal the other day. One awesome rehearsal for every several, several negative ones. I know I am doing things wrong. So, what does one do when she knows things need changing, but can't find what they need to be changed to? I want my mother!

Things I learned: I'll get back to you on this one.

Bangs!

Do you ever have the feeling that you want something & you simply can't keep inhaling, exhaling if you don't get it, like RIGHT NOW?! Well, I remember having that feeling & pestering my poor mother until she cut my hair. It was seriously like I needed change, and would burst if I had to wait.

M had a similar experience yesterday. Suddenly, she informed me she wanted bangs.

"Ok. Anjee is coming over on Thursday. We'll have her cut some." I was proud that I was completely letting her choose. "Can't you cut them? Today?!" I explained bangs were tricky & I wasn't sure I could do them right. She might hate them & I didn't want her to be mad at me.

She had complete confidence in me, so I tried, and luckily for us, I've cut bangs so bad so many times before that now I know exactly what NOT to do! They turned out darling, if I say so myself!

Well, monkey see money do,

so C had to get her bangs cut. I tried to explain her face was a little different and I didn't think she'd like them. That was fruitless & in vain!

So, she got bangs, too. She said, "Thanks, Mom!" Went right upstairs and clipped them out of the way.

I learned children like it when you let them make their own choices. I'm still cautious about which choices I give full reign on while they are so young. I also try to explain all the possibilities to M before she chooses so she won't be as disappointed if it doesn't turn out exactly as she wants it to. That seems to help her not get really mad if she hates her choice, after it's too late.

Breakfast

Locals recently decided to gather and enjoy a game, or several, of flag football every Saturday morning during college football season. We love to go & watch the Mr. play! It's a privilege to see him let go & have fun!

Game time is 8am. This is not a problem for our family. We are early risers. The girls aren't necessarily early breakfast eaters so we take appropriate breakfast items for them to enjoy at the field. J is stubborn & recently decided she doesn't need breakfast, or lunch, but sometimes dinner, and treats anytime. This morning she wanted a sucker for breakfast.

How did those darn things end up in our bag! I can't give her a sucker for breakfast! It's against my moral code. J got angry and started pouting and kicking. She changes tactics! "Fruit snack!"

Gr.... She won't eat the apples or plums her sisters are enjoying.

She doesn't want the whole grain crackers. Finally, she ends up eating a fiber one bar... pretty much sugar with a titch of fiber.

It's frustrating because J's attitude has been changing these past weeks. She's watching the tantrums and arguments of M & C and mimicking them. NOT OK! Her sweetness is being replaced by rudeness, she demands things, and throws an hour long tantrum when she doesn't get them. They say to ignore negative behavior. So, I walk around her tantrum straightening or cleaning or cooking while she lays there for up to an hour crying, rolling, and kicking.

I admit when I was young and imagined the family I would someday have, everyone had smiling faces, everyone spoke respectfully, and everyone cooperated. That is pure joy! It seems like family life is the opposite most of the time. Obviously, it's a product of environment. I have to change. Change is hard. It's hard when you are making the changes, but it's a million times harder when you're trying to guide changes in your family. I can set a goal and work towards it and achieve it. Somethings are SO hard!

Tonight at the General Relief Society Broadcast Sister Beck quoted the recently deceases Sister Smith. Her final counsel to her family was to respect the noble women of the church. When she said that, I desired to instill in my daughters respect of the great women of the church. I had a visualization of myself falling to my knees every time M starts a rant of unhelpfulness, orneryness, or disrespectfulness. I will pray for the love and patience and inspiration I need to parent her appropriately.

Today I learned:

1. Check the snack bag before leaving the house.

2. Don't give in to J just because she's the youngest. Be as diligent as I was with the 1st.

3. I cannot do this right by myself. It is better to fall on my knees humbly before my Maker and ask for His guidance than it is to get upset at M's rants.

Going to the Dr.'s Office... oh the joy!

When the stork was in the neighborhood delivering sweet smelling baby girls, he must've dropped our parcels from too high! Our daughters are sweet smelling and the prettiest creatures I've yet discovered. BUT, they are the most stubborn, determined, individual, spunky, energetic, imaginative spirits! I can't imagine that boys are more rambunctious!

Thus, visiting the pediatrician is an excellent test of my creativity and patience! There's the usual imprisonment in the waiting room... luckily C was taken captive by Bambi.

Even with ill, she's still somewhat herself!

J is a focused people-watcher. Use caution - she's very easy to loose in a crowd! She wouldn't let me keep her near me by reading that book to her. Oh no! She's like a north magnet to my southern self. Free, exploring, free!

After a too long wait, we were led to the patient's room where one of my favorite nurses swabbed C's throat. C is re-enacting how she "roared like a dragon" so the nurse could reach way back.

Monkey see, monkey do!

Now we're waiting for Dr. P. I didn't try to stop them from rocking back & forth on the patient table, but I did nix the playing on the wheeled stool! The hand sanitizer with it's fluffy, ivory foam is very entertaining & clean!

J kept flinging off her flip flops - she LOVES being barefooted, and these are the books she threw on the floor, again refusing to be read to.

And there's the new computer system, just another expensive object I'm supposed to keep their chubby little fingers off of! But, look at that girl's tricep!

Dr. P comes in, examines the sore throat; yep it's strep!

She gets a nice shot in the bum & off we go... late picking up her sister from school because it's early release day!

Lessons learned, hm. Before going some place similar I should pause for a moment & consciously list my expectations. When I do so, I realize that they are 5 & 2. They will act accordingly and I miraculously find patience!

The girls were singing, giggling, and teasing each other when Dr. P walked into the room. I didn't apologize for their behavior. With the right perspective, I saw they were bonding, having fun, and NOT touching anything expensive.

All in all, it was a positive, successful experience! I found joy in my children at the Dr.'s office.

A Jewish Tradition...

Jewish women have a beautiful tradition. When they greet each other they exclaim, "Have joy in your children!" I am documenting life's lessons as I learn how to have joy in my children. Hopefully, it will become a text book they can study as they find joy in their children, my grand kids-to-be! After all, families are the center unit of society. Motherhood is the divine destiny of every little girl. It has been said our greatest joys & successes should be in our families. The God of Heaven & Earth Himself said, "This is my work & my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." If God's children are his greatest joy, then I definitely need to learn to let my children be my greatest joy.

My goal is to present things as I honestly see & feel them. Hopefully, the things that aren't as obviously blunders to me will be obviously blunders to the reader and therefore, avoided in their own family. This is a master class of motherhood. I'm happy to be the one in the spot light, good and bad, if it will prove helpful for my girls. I love you!